Andreas Nerlich
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financial systems (19 Mar 2010)
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
  • You have two cows.
  • You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
  • You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A SOUTH AFRICAN CORPORATION
  • You have two cows.
  • You go on strike because you want three cows.
  • They get stolen, so you blame the previous regime and steal someone else's cows and shoot their owner.
A ZIMBABWEAN CORPORATION
  • A farmer has two cows.
  • You take over his farm, eat both cows and wait for the international community to supply more.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
  • You have two cows.
  • You re-design them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
  • You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
  • You have two cows.
  • You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
  • You have two cows.
  • Both are mad.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
  • You have two cows.
  • You pray to them for food.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
  • You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
  • You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
  • You have two cows.
  • You count them and learn you have five cows.
  • You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
  • You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
  • You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
  • You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
  • You charge others for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
  • You have two cows.
  • You have 300 people milking them.
  • You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
  • You have two cows.
  • The one on the left is kinda cute...
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